Thursday May 13th, 2010 - Lake Villa, IL

   I received a phone call from a comedian friend today complaining of an all too familiar scenario. He had what he thought was a solid booking for this weekend, but he received a call from the booker telling him it was a no go. No reason given, and no replacement gig.

   I can’t begin to count how many times I’ve had this happen myself, and it’s maddening. I sympathized with my friend, but he started to go on and on about it on the phone. I have my own problems and I told him that. Then I said, “If it’s that bad, why don’t you go after every one of his accounts, undercut his commission and do it yourself, but do it better?”

   The phone went silent for a few seconds as we both immediately realized that might not be such a bad idea. Comedy is in a big state of flux right now and there are no real rules at all. There used to be much more of a structure, but now it’s unorganized anarchy all over.

   There are a few people that know what they’re doing and are ethical, but there are many more who are just in it to strip mine a quick buck and don’t care about the acts they abuse and exploit along the way. I would have no qualms whatsoever about taking their booking base away, but there would be some major feathers ruffled and it would start a big battle.

   It’s not at all my desire to be a booker, unless they’re my shows. BUT…if someone had a desire to establish a bit of a territory, and handled things just a little more professionally than they’re being handled now, I think that person or people could build a solid business.

   There’s absolutely ZERO thought that goes into booking any shows these days. It really does matter who’s paired together on a show, but its boiled down to a contest of who can answer emails fastest. Bookers throw them out like fish bait, and whoever is closest to the computer and answers first gets the prize. It’s like a radio contest. Call in and win a gig.

   It’s frustrating as hell to go to some of these rooms and have to follow some completely horrific opener, and there seems to be an endless supply of them everywhere. Doesn’t any booker watch a tape or have a clue of who’s competent or not? Apparently not, and I have to be the one to bear the brunt of their total incompetence. I must admit, I’m SO sick of it.

   The Funny Business Agency is one of the worst. I hate to keep picking on them, but it’s them that pulled their little cancellation stunt on my friend. I’ve had it happen to me many times over the years myself, and there was NEVER a payback. It was always about them.

   They couldn’t care less if any of us starved to death. They’ve got a limitless pipeline of  hungry struggling road comics who will take their abuse, thinking it will help get them an advantage or at least build up some goodwill for the future. WRONG. I thought that too.

   The thanks I got for over twenty years of working for them was an email telling me that I was fired from the son of the owner, who is now easing his way into the driver’s seat. At no time did I ever get a thank you for work well done, or many favors I did for his father.

   How many times did I get a call from Funny Business asking me if I could drive several hundred miles in bad weather to fill in on a last minute fallout? Lots. They’re not the only ones that have fallouts, but they have most of their work in bad weather locations, so they have the most situations where weather could be an issue. Still, they had lots of work too.

   Everyone wanted to work all their rooms, and we thought by doing these favors we’d all get a chance to do them. Again, WRONG. That never happened. They had the power base and we all had to shut up and take it, or not work for them at all. It was an unfair con job.

   At one time, the Funny Business had a pretty hefty chunk of work. I’d guess they would have probably had about 20 full weeks of work in clubs, and then they had college gigs as well. If a comic was in tight with them, they could haul in a nice buck for the whole year.

   I was never one of their ‘in guys’, but I did get a lot of work from them because I lived in the Midwest, and that’s where most of their work was. I did the job, and they had a lot of openings, so I was able to work my way up and become a strong headliner for them.

   I never had anything personal against the owner John Yoder, and in fact I rather enjoyed having lunches with him when I was near his office in Grand Rapids, MI. I never thought he knew a damn thing about comedy, and I still don’t. His kids know even less. Still, they had a crew of us road warriors out there busting our asses to make them money for years.

   He could have taken care of us a little better in my opinion, but he never did. I’m not at all the only one who’s feeling this way either. A lot of us are feeling the cold shoulder of Yoder, and we’re not liking it. Any loyalty or respect is gone, and I absolutely would not have a problem going to every one of his accounts and offering to book them cheaper.

   I’m not looking to book one nighters and toilets, but if some week long clubs would be available I’d surely be able to give them a much better deal for much less money. I have a lifetime of experience working these kinds of places, and I see the acts that are out there.

   I could hand pick talent and put together great shows, and things would run a whole lot smoother. I’d surely take care of the comics a lot better, and keep tabs on my accounts so they wouldn’t fall into disrepair. I would make sure I cultivated a win/win atmosphere for both the performers and the clubs, much like Tom Sobel does at TSM in Louisville, KY.

   I’m working for Tom in a month, and I would have no desire to ever take over any gigs he books. I don’t have to, he does it right. Others do too, but there are those that continue to be hard asses, and those are the ones I’d go toe to toe with. I know I could match them.

   My comedian friend and I talked about this at length today, and we realized if we did it there would be all kinds of aftershocks from all kinds of people. It would be the old ‘You can’t work for both’ game, and some would still play it. Not me, I just want to keep work coming in. It wouldn’t take all that much to set up a website and start making calls. I have enough on my plate, but this could be worth it if I had some help. It could get interesting.

Tags: Funny Business

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